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Big Fat Review of the Year

the_winged_beast the_winged_beast Profile

Posted:
12/22/08 at
7:10:07 PM

Views: 876

January/February/March
As ever the year began with nothing to look forward too.

Six Flags announced they would be bringing Tony Hawk spinning coasters to Texas and California

Parques Reunidos continue their aggressive growth strategy by acquiring their 300th regional water park, no Mediterranean tourist resort is safe.

Cedar Fair release their annual report, the future of expanding their parks is uncertain as they run out of rides to relocate from Geauga Lake

April
Parques Reunidos continue their acquisition of the Kennywood group

Hard Rock park opens, initial forecasts show the park seriously under-budgeted tumbleweed costs

DisneyLand refurbishes it’s a small world turns about the boats were sinking faster than their profit margins.

May
Denmark brings hope to coaster enthusiasts with the opening of Piraten and Lynet. Parks around the world are reminded of the time old concept of installing a new coaster.

Parques Reunidos acquire Niagara Falls

June
S&S complete their first El Loco coaster as Steel Hawg opens at Indiana Beach. Police have confiscated incense sticks from the design office which have been sent to the lab awaiting further tests

Thomas Towns open at Drayton Manor and Magic Mountain, as the blue tank engine continues his quest for world domination through influencing the children, corrupting the minds of tomorrow.

July /August / September
Euro Star travelling inverted coaster is sold to a park in Russia. After 13 years of travelling the German fairs, the ride became so rough it could now only operate in a country where the general public have so much vodka in their bloodstream

The growth of Parques Reunidos continues as they acquire Estonia

Anheuser-Busch sells up to InBev, many people wonder the fate of the side of the company which was more significant than the beer. Merlin (Sea Life XXXL?) and Disney (Orlando DinseySea?) are reportedly interested while Six Flags are holding off on making an offer until their market research results come back, how many Tony Hawk spinning coasters will they have to install?

October
Everyone is cashing in on Halloween, perhaps the biggest fright is that of the investors in Hard Rock Park as they scramble to pick up the bill for the biggest, most expensive mid-life crisis in history.
The park will go up for auction with a number of chains considering the purchase. Mark Sharpio and the team are busy calculating how many Tony Hawks spinning coasters it would take to make the operation profitable.

Cypress Gardens announced it will close and remove all the rides for the rebirth of the park next season. Yes that'll work, removing the attractions, that's what people want to come and visit . . . nothing? It worked so well for American Adventure after all.

November
All quiet on the IAAPA front, in contrast to the shows of years gone by, the biggest most exciting announcement this year was Aspro Group have signed a deal with a new popcorn supplier.

Loud, shakey, rough, tired, annoying the neighbours, a serious pain in the neck . . . Alton Towers said goodbye to an old friend . . . it was sad to see Russell Barnes move on

Rumours suggest Blackpool Pleasure Beach are closing roller coaster and space invader, along with the demolition of the whip, the extra space cleared will allow for Amanda Thompson's ego to finally fit inside the park.
Well that or another ice show.

December
Amidst rumours of spending Christmas with Amy Winehouse, Woody Bear is publicly showing the signs of a tough season. The disappearance of mouse 1 and mouse 2 only fuels suspicions they lead him to his alcohol dependency.


HighExtreme

Re: Big Fat Review of the Year by Graeme Graeme Profile at 12/23/08 9:16:34 AM

> Hard Rock park opens, initial forecasts show the park
> seriously under-budgeted tumbleweed costs

> S&S complete their first El Loco coaster as Steel Hawg
> opens at Indiana Beach. Police have confiscated incense
> sticks from the design office which have been sent to the
> lab awaiting further tests

> October
> Everyone is cashing in on Halloween, perhaps the biggest
> fright is that of the investors in Hard Rock Park as they
> scramble to pick up the bill for the biggest, most
> expensive mid-life crisis in history.

Tommy Saxondale - the Park!

> November
> All quiet on the IAAPA front, in contrast to the shows of
> years gone by, the biggest most exciting announcement this
> year was Aspro Group have signed a deal with a new popcorn
> supplier.

> December
> Amidst rumours of spending Christmas with Amy Winehouse,
> Woody Bear is publicly showing the signs of a tough season.
> The disappearance of mouse 1 and mouse 2 only fuels
> suspicions they lead him to his alcohol dependency.

Brilliant post! Urban Monsters quality.

Re: Big Fat Review of the Year by d_n_s_u at 12/23/08 1:34:51 PM

Great review and great post!

Have a GREAT christmas everyone

Gary

themagiceye: SBNO until Jan '09

Re: Big Fat Review of the Year by TrickTrack TrickTrack Profile at 12/23/08 4:08:04 PM

Funniest post of the year (and so true!)

Happy Reunidos to everyone at URC from Berlin!

StellaVista

Re: Big Fat Review of the Year by Corkscrew_Foley Corkscrew_Foley Profile at 12/23/08 5:01:42 PM

Great read, and rather cheeky I must add. Merry Christmas to everyone on here, that includes you Tricky. :P

Re: Big Fat Review of the Year by Graeme Graeme Profile at 12/24/08 6:12:17 PM

Pressies wrapped
Work done
Happy Christmas Everyone!

Can't wait for Doctor Who and Wallace & Gromit! The Cybermen - woo!